Start in the Middle

“You need a hobby” he says
“Something you like to do”
And there’s privilege in that statement
It hits me sitting here on the floor
Cutting out my hair that’s clogged the vacuum cleaner
My postpartum hair that never stopped falling out
It hits me as I rip the clumps of me
from it’s roaring mouth
To the maddening sound of
The latest viral video playing for my toddler
Who hasn’t eaten a vegetable in months:

To be a woman
And to have a hobby
Is not impossible
But it isn’t taught
I realize as my daughter dances
Clapping and jumping
The smell of her freshly soiled diaper
making its way to my nose
There will never be
enough room
Or time
Or attention
Or respect
For me to “get a hobby”
So I stop pulling at this dead hair
Grab my phone
Hold my nose
And type this poem
Right in the middle of it all.

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